So, is this how I'm gonna spend the rest of my December breaks, for at least the next few years? If yes, I'm doomed.

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The other day, I had to go to yewtee mrt. Having not driven to that part of the island before, I checked out my route from streetdirectory.com. As usual, I memorised the route, which junction to turn at which road and so forth. 

So I drove via PIE, all's well on the expressway. After the exit, I knew exactly in my mind where and when I should turn. 

Then, something caught my eye. It remotely resembled one of the landmarks which I told myself I should turn at. Somehow at the back of my mind there was a small voice which told me that's not the turn that I should make. 

On the roads, I had not much time to decide. And so I decided to go with the obvious-what I can see. 

And I made the turn.

It seems like my eyes and my brain were placing a bet, afterwhich the brain matter-of-fact-ly told my eyes "SEE, I told u so." I can totally imagine my eyes having the -_- expression. Which, of course is not possible realistically. 

I made goodness-knows-how-many uturns that night (hopefully no camera) before finally arriving at my destination after an hour.     

After that night, I was reviewing on why I did what I did that night. And then it dawned on me. The way I drove was a reflection of how I made choices in my life. 

Most of the time, we all have a "destination"- a goal, in this sense. We know how to get there, we know what we need to do to get there, we know what to expect there.

Somehow along the way, distractions which may remotely resemble our goals appear. Our eyes see them, and afterall, it does give the disillusion that we have reached our goal earlier.

So we get tempted, and had to make a choice. 

To take the risk? Or not? 

I have taken such risks before. Many times. Only to regret at the end of the day for time and effort wasted.

But somehow, I never seem to learn my lesson. I had the spirit of "宁可杀错，不可放过＂

However as age catches up, experiences have proven to me that many a times, what I see is not what I get. 

Yes I may like what I see, and envision it to be my goal when I jolly well know that's not it. I choose to be blinded to all the tell tale signs. 

But at the end of the day, we all know who we should have followed.

Age really does make you "see" things which you would otherwise not have.   

Caught this movie last night. It gave me insights into some of life's lessons and got me searching for more of her quotes online. I came across this, which did not appear in the movie:
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"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

This is so true. I have to admit I was once guilty this as well. When I was younger, I had all the ideals of how my man should be. I had this mental checklist of what I wanted.

Now that I am older, there is probably only one thing left on that checklist: Do I like the way I am when Im with him?

Everything else is secondary.

This actually applies to all kinds of relationships. With your parents, your friends, your partners etc. After getting very comfortable in the relationship, we tend to start to have expectations, which stems from how our ideal parent/friend/partner should be. We try to get them to be how WE want them to be, and when they don't, we conclude that they don't love us enough.

This brings another life lesson: To love someone for who he is and not what he can do / provide for you.

Character and personalities are the only things that will last; not the money or companionship.

This really needs constant self-reminder because it is really easy to fall into the dark side. I myself struggle with it sometimes as well.

Especially with all the distractions and temptations all around.

But I will have faith.

"Realize that men are NOT monogamous. Yes, I know that isn't what you want to hear. But consider this, if you realize this up front, you're already way ahead of the game! Thus, your goal shouldn't be to get your guy to commit and be monogamous to you - it should be to become the woman for whom he WANTS to be monogamous! Do you get the difference here?"

Was reading an article about commitment. The above paragraph struck me. Indeed, there is a difference.

A very critical one at that.

已经分手的情侣，最好余生也不要重逢。

你和他那段情一点也不值得回味，重逢来干什么？这种重逢的场面只会令大家不快乐。

　　你看到他老了，生活不如意，你庆幸自己当年离开了他。可是，跟他说再见之后，你深深为自己的无情而内疚。这种感觉太不舒服，不如不要重逢。

　　你重遇他，发现他脱胎换骨，而你，却不太如意。让他看到你离开他以后日子过得不快乐，你的尊严还可以放到哪里？不如不要重逢。

　　过去的一段情刻骨铭心，你偶然还会想起他，你也很想知道他现在变成怎样，日子过得好不好。当你去到那些你们以前常去的地方，你的一颗心还会跳，你会想：“我会在这里碰到他吗？”如果是这样的话，最好也是余生不要重逢。

　　你永远再见不到他，美丽的回忆会长存心中，若再见到他，结果却可能不一样。他已经不是从前那个人，你从前最欣赏他的智慧，可是，重逢的这一刻，你才发现，他并没有进步。

　　你以为如果让你再见到他，你一定不会让他离开，今天，让你见到了，你才发现不是那回事，不知从什么时候开始，你对他已经失去了那份感觉，你早就不爱他了。重逢然后失望，等于亲手毁灭自己的回忆，那是多么凄酸的事？为什么不能相忘于江湖？

　　如果有一天，我们要分手，不要，不要，请不要让我在余生再见到你。

（文/张小娴）

My boss told me yesterday about some additional responsibilities which I will be taking up starting from next year. (Effectively should be this year end 'cause that's when planning starts.)

On one hand, I am happy because this is a good chance for me to perform and build up my portfolio. I consider this as a new mark in my career, and I am thankful for the faith that the management have in me.

On the other hand, I am worried that I can't cope. Together with my academic commitments as well as my existing workload, I am already struggling for time. Besides, I am officially only a 菜鸟 with 1 year of experience. I am worried that my competency will be questioned when I step up to the challenge. Boss has assured me that I will have a mentor with 10years of experience with what I will be handing, so hopefully I will be in good hands.

As such, I foresee that the next two years will probably be the busiest and most trying time of my life thus far. I will be continuing with my plans to take maximum credit units every semester for my studies. I think I need to rethink about my time management as well as my priorities so that I don't crumble under pressure when the time comes.

For the people around me, I would have to ask for your understanding and patience, as well as for your forgiveness if I am unable to make time for you. I promise that I will try my best so please bear with me and have faith that you will always be in my thoughts.

Your friends won't run away just because you don't meet them often.

If they do, they probably ain't friends to begin with; just companions.

To most, I'm someone of a relatively mild temperament (although my folks will beg to differ). Hardly will I be seen losing my cool. I may whine, I may complain, but I will try my best not to lose it, even if it means I have to shut up and just smile to EQ-less people. Simply because it's not worth it, most of the time.

So if you still manage to piss me off, you must have been a real pain.

I had a good chat with a friend. Thanks for spending a couple of hours of your Friday afternoon with me while your husband and daughter is waiting at home for you.

She helped me to summarise my thoughts and weighed my opportunity costs. I am grateful for someone who is willing to listen to me and help me analyse my situation objectively. I finally arrived at a decision and I will stick to it. With every decision, there will be repercussions to face and I guess I just have to suck it up and move on.

At the end of our session, I thanked her again and she said, "Don't worry, you're my friend." That really warmed me.

FInally, I will no longer be sitting on the fence nor pacing back and forth. Instead, Im feeling free, and relieved.

10 things all single people must do
By Amy Spencer

1. Travel alone. Whether you’re trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can’t get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure — even when you become part of a twosome.

2. Wallow in the ache of a broken heart. Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry’s in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It’s the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you’ll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you’re sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you’re less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that’ll serve you well as you travel through your dating days. Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

3. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age. On lonely nights, it’s common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a classic film or mail-order catalog. But by spending 48 hours with a real couple, you’ll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won’t over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again.

4. Don’t come home all night. That’s right, wild thing. Crash on a friend’s couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip… Once you have a mate, you can’t just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won’t want to. So if you don’t have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!

5. Stand up for a cause you care about. Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue while you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you’ll be cultivating is very attractive.

6. Have a real adventure. Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a thrill by doing something just for you, just for the experience — without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you’ll have telling your next date about your daring experience.

7. Learn how to take care of yourself. Being solo shouldn’t keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it’s mac and cheese with your own added favorite extra thrown in). While you’re at it, learn how to back up your hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You’ll feel strong and self-sufficient — and you’ll be armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship.

8. Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it. Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items — not just “Will he or she hate it?” but “Is this where I want to be putting my money if we’re saving for a wedding?” The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it’s an expensive vintage movie poster or a decked-out mountain bike.

9. Develop a hobby. Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you’re dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you — and makes you more interesting to others.

10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months. Hopping wildly from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you.

-End of article-

Alright, so, I have gone through 2, 4, 8, 10. 7 as well if you dont talk about cooking.

No.1: Travelling alone is really cool. But where to?

No.3 sounds weird. Even if Im open to it, who will be the couple? Unless ure talking about bunking in with a married friend/relative for a particular reason eg. we have to get off to somewhere really early the next day. Even so, it can't be for the whole weekend.

No.5: I don't have a particular cause which I feel strongly enough for just as yet.

No.6: A real adventure? I think this can be combined with No.1, travelling alone.

No.9: I dont have a particular hobby, but I do have things to do which I know can keep myself happily occupied.

Out of all the 10 experiences, I think No.10 is the most important of all. This is something which I believe in all these while, and I'm pleasantly surprised that it also made this list because I haven't exactly met anyone with this same thinking as well.